Friends

After more than 15 email correspondence between the Malaysian/Indonesian gang, everybody finally settled on meeting at Michelle’s apartment on Friday night for hot pot. Bryan behaved exceptionally well, sleeping through most of the night, while the adults dined and wined.

We talked a lot about the troubles Chee-hoi and Widodo went through with “cat problems” around their houses. They complained that neighborhood cats refuse to stay away from their yards with occasional acts of retaliation, especially with Chee-hoi’s back yard. Then Widodo proudlly shared his money-saving tricks on his pool (one of the only TWO in the entire neighborhood, according to Google Earth). I never knew pools can take so much to maintain! Kind of takes the romance of owning a pool knowing all that insider knowledge.

On Saturday, Yi-sheng, an old friend from high school called to see what we were doing. So we decided to get out of the house and show him this Thai noodle place in San Francisco we love so much. We just love Thai food!

Sunday afternoon, we went over to visit Jason and Alicia, good friends I met from college, over at Menlo Park. Jason made us some really nice home-made Japanese dishes. The visit also gave me a new insight to Jason and Alicia’s past through a series of albums (including a scrap book that Jason’s mom made of his baby years). According to Jason’s mom, he liked Kung-fu when he was four years old. Maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t really follow through with it. At over 6-ft tall, he could easily be a killing machine.

We also saw Jason and Alicia’s two cats (finally). It was amazing to see how their cats are so totally fine with having leash put on them when going out for a walk. It was also funny to see how cats just can’t tolerate baby cries (ours eventually got used to it after a couple of months). But Bryan did OK today. We went through three diapers and a bottle of formula during the visit. Jason blogged about our visit soon after we left. He has a couple of tight shots of Bryan. It was very nice to just talk to friends without other distractions in the way.

It was nice to be out of the house to get some fresh air.

Working Father

No, I usually don’t let Bryan sleep on my shoulder while I work. I was just holding on to him while Grace was getting ready to give Bryan his formula. But if any image can sum up the tight shifts Grace and I run on with Bryan, this is it. Sometimes I rock Bryan to sleep while fumbling to read the required reading for class. And when Bryan refuses to talk to his buddies on the mobile, no worries, I have excelled in the skill of one-hand typing — an artistry all computer using fathers must master.

Click to get a better look…
Bryan sleeping on my shoulder

A Stroll Around the Hood

It was a warm and sunny day on Monday. Since we haven’t really taken Bryan out for a walk in the neighborhood, we decided it was time to meet the neighbors.

A block down the road, we did meet a mother with her 10-month-old daughter on their front lawn. So we did what parents with babies do — exchanging “vital data” on our babies… how old, how big when s/he was born… etc. The mother went on to tell us that the neighborhood is full of young infants. What a surprise!

I guess Bryan is not used to being out for more than 15 minutes. He was exhausted from having seen so many different things outside of his comfy home. Brian was right about one thing though: When you see babies looking at things for the first time of their lives, their curiosity does make you look at things a little differently. Those mundane, boring objects you see day in and day out do look pretty cool.

Having a baby changes everything. And it’s not just the routines of day to day activies. Sometimes it’s how you perceive things as if it was your first time.

Immunize Me

We took Bryan to get his second sets of immunization shots on Monday. He practically cried only for 5 seconds throughout the entire process. There were 5 different immunizations in three shots. He got poked once on his right leg and twice on his left. Luckily he didn’t suffer any of the possible side effects listed on the immunization chart the hospital gave out.

Shots Bryan received were: Polio, DTaP (Diphtheria, Tetanus & Pertussis), Hib (Haemophilus Influenzae Type b), Hepatitis B, and finally Pneumococcal.

Years ago, some vaccines containing small amount of mercury were thought to have caused autism. Luckily that’s no longer an issue since the mercury-based compound used to produce those vaccines have been phased out.

Bryan immunized

Swing the Baby

While talking to Ee-bin about baby swings, both she and Grace got excited about a traditional Malaysian baby swing made with sarong. It basically is a crudely made cradle that’s hung about three feet in mid air. Apparently it’s a very common type of swing in Singapore as well.

And then the other day when we had dinner with Hanny, Widodo and Chee-hoi, once again they mentioned it. So I guess it’s pretty common in Indonesia as well. Curious, I wanted to find out if this magical swing made out of sarong was available for purchase somewhere online.

No luck with the sarong swing. But I did find an improved and westernized version of it (Amby and Baby Hammocks). The inventor is an Australian Chinese who admited that he got the idea from “other cultures” in conceiving his design. Because of hammock’s (or swings in general) shape and natural “mid air” movements, experts say that it reminds the infant of the good times back in mommy’s tummy.

Here’s a quick look at the “designs” between the two hammocks….
LEFT — Sarong Swing | RIGHT — Amby Swing
Traditional sarong swing=>Amby swing

As cheap as sarong swings may be, they seem to be a health hazzard by Western standards (here and here). As for the Amby cradle swing, parents have sworn by its effectiveness in putting even the most difficult children to sleep. But it ain’t cheap… a basic setup costs $200.

Speaking of sleep, don’t some parents also swear by the Ferber Method?

Continue on with the sarong. It’s also a common practice to make baby carriers out of them. What a multi-purpose low-tech answer to everything! And of course, for everything low-tech, there’s a “designer” Western counterpart to it.

LEFT — Sarong baby carrier | RIGHT — Nojo baby carrier
Sarong baby carrier Nojo baby carrier

🙂

The Baby and the Cat

Grace told me a phenomenon about one of our cats (Wawa, to be precise) that I thought was pretty interesting.

When Bryan is hungry, sometimes he doesn’t have the patience to wait for his formula. So he’d cry at the top of his lungs until Grace gets back with a bottle of formula. But Grace can’t really get the formula ready with Bryan in one arm. So she has no choice but to put him on the bed and let him cry while she’s preparing his formula.

One day Bryan was crying for his formula as usual, but Grace noticed that this time, Wawa jumped on to the bed to examine why the baby was crying, then she calmly walked to the kitchen, looked at Grace, meowed at Grace a few times and then went back and sat by the bedroom door, waiting for Grace to come back with Bryan’s formula.

Looks like the cats are starting to warm up to the baby.

Scream

Ever since Bryan learned how to scream, he’s been using it as an effective way of, let’s just say, “communication”. When he’s really unhappy about something, a shrieking scream from the top of his lungs can probably be heard hundreds of yards away in the relatively quiet neighborhood.

I hope the neighbors don’t call the cops on us for “child abuse” one of these days…

Erik Erikson on Early Childhood Education

In response to Mike’s comment on that entry about baby cries, I just wanted to add something to round it off…

Many of today’s early childhood education approaches are based on theories and practices developed by Erik Erikson. Here’s an excerpt from Scholastic’s Early Childhood Today magazine published in March 2001.

Erikson developed the view that each person experiences a set of “conflicts” that need to be resolved during each of the eight stages of development, the first three stages spanning early childhood. these “conflicts” arise from demands made on a child by his parents of by society in general. As each conflict is resolved, the individual becomes ready to grapple with the next stage. When conflicts are unresolved, they remain issues for the individual to struggle with later in life.

First Three Stages of Psychosocial Development
Stage 1: Trust versus mistrust (birth to 1 year of age). During this time, the infant struggles to develop trust in the world. Erikson felt that children learn to trust when teachers [and parents] are nurturing, responsive and reliable.

Stage 2: Autonomy versus shame and doubt (18 months to 3 years). This stage is characterized by the child’s increasing desire to discover. Teachers [and parents] help children by understanding the child’s needs for both independence and dependence. Erikson believed that, if this fails to occur, a child will experience feelings of shame and doubt. (Editor’s note: So there, this is the stage where you teach independence, not at birth!)

Stage 3: Initiative versus guilt (3 to 6 years old). At this time, the child is eager to master new skills, use language to ask questions, and interact with other peers. At the same time, the child still relies on the comfort and security provided by teachers [and parents]. If a child’s developing sense of initiative is neglected or ignored, Erikson stressed that the child’s misguided energy could result in verbal or physical aggression. Smoking Ice Cream Cookies Strain can be effective to manage physical and mental problems.

Quoted text copyright material of Scholastic.